


Taking Advantage of The Moment

by aqpuppy



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race (US) RPF
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, But not quite, Canon Compliant, Groundhog Day, Happy Ending, M/M, Panic Attacks, Time Loop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-14 11:35:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28919928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aqpuppy/pseuds/aqpuppy
Summary: Max Malanaphy finds herself reliving her elimination day over and over and over and over again. And it sucks.(I'm sorry. I'm not the best at summaries.)
Relationships: Max Malanaphy/Jaidynn Diore Fierce
Comments: 4
Kudos: 6





	Taking Advantage of The Moment

**Author's Note:**

> Hello. I originally posted this to ArtificialQueens in September of last year, and I feel like I want to post this little bit of self-indulgence again on another platform.
> 
> Now, I like time loops. I like Season 7 (despite it's many faults). I like this particular rarepair and friendship, so here's how this came about.
> 
> I hope you enjoy.

Max solemnly rolled her bags out of the workroom for the- who knows how many times it was at this point. She understood completely what the universe was trying to tell her.

Was her runway not up to standards as other times? Yes. Was her Snatch Game performance questionable at best and terrible at worst? Well, she was literally near her last possible choice since producers disapproved of her first few choices.  _ If only this stretched to yesterday, _ the grey lady thought to herself, _ I could’ve thrown in a line about Party City or something like that… _ She had already accepted that she lost the lip-sync against Jaidynn too. She was a damn good performer and 80s’ R&B wasn’t generally in Max’s repertoire. So why the hell was this still happening?

Perhaps she’d sleep on it, but that was useless. She’d wake back up on the same day. It seems she had lost count of the many things she had tried to do to finally fly back home.

~~~

“This seems a little familiar… repetitive even...” Max approached Violet with some caution.

“You’re the one getting read about your wigs, and you talk to me about repetitive?” The one-of-a-kind collectable joked, or at least attempted to. She was still getting used to the whole ‘being a warmer person’ thing.

“Shouldn’t I have gone home already?” 

Violet tilted her head in slight confusion. “What do you mean? I think it was Kandy’s time and…” she beckoned Max to lean down so she could whisper into her ear. “You didn’t hear it from me, but your Merle Ginsberg... wasn’t that bad last week.”

Max’s fears were assuaged until she got on the runway. The brightness of the lights and the tightness of the corset crept back into play. She once found herself asking to loosen her outfit and sitting at the edge of the stage. Yep, she was reliving the moment that sent her home.

~~~

Around the fourth or seventh time she had been eliminated, Max had practically memorized the backstage conversations. “Well, now we know what she really sounds like!” Ginger joked, prompting a fit of laughter and a punch to the arm. Max hoped to have hit her face, but she wasn’t that far gone yet.

She once attempted to shed her purported prudish nature in another loop. She started conversations about what she once deemed vulgar, but all she had got was strange looks and reminders she was sharing too much information. She didn't speak again until critiques.

Immediately after (or was it two times after?), she had tried her best to be the friend that everyone needed. She’d help with outfits and accompanied Fame and Katya as extra moral support. Among the sewing and helping others with makeup, she barely had time for herself. The moment she stepped onto the runway, she barely put on a face of makeup and nearly fainted from lack of energy. Thankfully, she woke back up in her hotel room and last night’s pajamas.

The most recent loop was just spent in utter silence. Max had just… broke. She dared not speak or respond to anyone. She had choked back inaudible tears everywhere she went that day until the runway. As she was sweating under the lights, she prayed that she would pass out again. The voices in her head overpowered anything that she wanted to come out of her mouth. The ones constantly nagged at her for every decision she made on that show. 

In an attempt to direct her attention away from those voices, her focus shifted elsewhere. This elsewhere unfortunately was drilled on the various sets of eyes staring at her, and the thousands more who would see it once it was edited and aired to the public. How many people would consider this some stunt? They’d probably think she was crazy or delusional. 

She’d whisk herself back to Oz in times like this to cope, but it didn’t work. Any time she’d try, she would be trapped in the Witch’s castle near the crystal ball. “Auntie Em, I’m frightened…” Max whispered to herself as she slowly got back up. Hopefully the tear stains would have dried out of the corset by the time.

Max remained silent backstage. She knew what the judges’ verdicts were going to be; why bother discussing them? The outcome was the same yet again. She’d pack, she’d sleep, she’d wake up to walk the runway yet again.

As she woke up yet again, a thought crossed her mind. All of her attempts to actively change the situation ended up making things worse. The day kept repeating. Max got up out of bed and stared at her reflection. Had she been too much in her head? She chuckled; if she was that far in her, Fame probably would have gotten the joke by now. The queen took a deep breath in and vowed this.  _ Go through the day as it was any other. Don’t make any drastic changes, Maxie. If you do, just… have them be small and insignificant. Try to make someone happy. _ The grey lady sighed and officially got ready for yet another loop of the same day. If this was the last, that would make her one extremely happy person. If it wasn’t, she would go back to trying… maybe ask Violet for a cincher this time.

~~~

“You’re done early,” Ginger noticed Max from her peripherals.

“Well, I’ve basically worn the same face since I’ve been here, so I guess practice amounts to shaving off a few minutes.” Max retorted as she admired herself a little longer. Her red contacts stared back at her: the leather-bound black widow. She laughed at her own little joke. The other girls couldn’t possibly know what that little comment also meant. The queen hummed a show tune to herself as she waited until filming started.

Being done this early felt so surreal, almost voyeuristic. The now black-haired lady stared among the workroom, eyeing her little corner of the room in particular: the various wigs and looks she wasn’t going to bring to the public. Perhaps she could use this time to start packing again; there was no need to delay the inevitable. She let out a sigh as she stared at her belongings.

“Hey, girl. You seem a bit out of it today.” Max was shaken out of her reverie and looked down at the shorter queen.

“It’s nothing, really,” Max lied, but saw that there was no use doing so. For all she knew Jaidynn was going to forget it the next time this happened; telling her wouldn’t hurt. In fact, it was cathartic for the tall one. “Never mind.. It has felt a little strange. Ever since I’ve been here, it’s been as if I was in a dream and I still haven’t quite woken up yet. Speaking of… I’ve probably already asked you this, but can you pinch me?”

“Did you get enough sleep last night?” Ever concerned, Jaidynn leaned against the wall and attempted to hold her friend’s hand.”I think this may have been the first time we saw each other today.”

“I’ve been reliving this day for gods know how long. Sleep is the least of my worries.”

“Have you actually done so or is this just ‘Max language’ for something else? I get that filming has been repetitive and it’s all routine, but I doubt that you’re going through some Bill Murray shit.” Max had a tendency to speak entirely in metaphor; Jaidynn and others on set knew that first hand. When she spoke, she often spoke in terms of Oz and werewolves when she wasn’t giving sage advice. When she wasn’t inside of her head, she was off in another world where magic is real and nothing can go wrong. Thank goodness she had folks who could snap her back to reality.

Max nodded her head as she then eyed Fame and Katya in another corner of the room, silently mumbling along to their conversation to prove her point.

“Damn, girl. That sounds pretty cool. It would definitely come in handy. You could improve on your looks and save yourself if you were ever on the bottom.” 

Max widened her eyes, not wanting to say too much. She already violated her mission by confiding in Jaidynn. “I’ve already done so much. What else is there to do?” Before she could say anything more, a PA had come in telling them to line up. “Shall we continue this later?”

Before they knew it, the arduous hours of judging had passed yet again and the critiqued queens headed backstage. “Did.. did that happen every time? You sounded good” Jaidynn asked about the corset mishap. All Max could do was nod her head and laugh.

“Sometimes, I’d switch up the song,” she whispered back and giggled. “I remember I did ‘Over the Rainbow’ one night… ‘The Man That Got Away’ another… One night, I think I-”

“The accent…”

“What about it?”

“You lost it for a second there.”

“I- I did?” Max shouldn’t have been surprised, but she just stopped for a second. It felt strange, having slipped out of this persona she had made for herself after having maintained it for filming and then some, but also freeing too. It was as if a giant weight had been lifted off her shoulders. “Didn’t even realize.” She laughed a little louder than she normally did, garnering more attention that she usually got. Max and Jaidynn joined the other girls with smiles on their faces and an underlying sense of uncertainty.

Sitting with her fellow castmates wasn’t the best thing in the world. There was no doubt that Max Malanaphy was an introverted figure. When they were normally congregated backstage, she would be among them, but barely contribute. Her comfort zone could only extend so far. She’d often flock where Violet or Pearl were, so she could talk about her day and how the other queens acted towards her, but that was the longest she’d have a conversation. The constant loops had certainly made things easier for the young lady. The only time she broke away from the conversation was to practice the song with Jaidynn.

“You really don’t have to do this, Max. I mean… you have the song down better than me at this point.” The Nashville queen remarked, taking a headphone out of one ear.

Max blushed a little at the remark and bounced the curls of her wig with one hand. “Don’t puff me up too much; I wouldn’t want to send you home tonight,” She awkwardly laughed afterwards. “I’d still very much want it to be an even playing field… or as even as possible considering circumstances.” Jaidynn popped the earbud back in and they continued to listen together, mostly in peace and quiet. The song looped on repeat until the five minute warning came around once again.

“You ready?”

“As I’ll ever be.”

“What happens after this?” Jaidynn started as she was lining back up. “I’m gonna forget all this ever happened, I guess...”

Max was shaken by the suddenness of the statement. She had never really considered the implications of Jaidynn’s situation. This whole day would be meaningless “I mean it depends... I might go through the wringer again.” Her cadence suddenly began to speed back up to an alarming pace. “The outcomes of the lip sync might change but it does not seem likely at the moment because I’m pretty sure Michelle hates me and they’d want me out as soon as possible but who knows, it might be a double sashay or a double shantay or I might win or no one wins or-” She stopped herself yet again, but her breathing became much more erratic. Now wasn’t the time for yet another breakdown.

Jaidynn attempted to cup her tall fishy friend’s face, but settled for squeezing her hand. It would have looked ridiculous due to their sizes. “Look at me,” she started as Max crouched to her height. “No matter what happens, you’re gonna kick ass. I’ve seen you, girl, and you’re a badass performer. You’ll turn it out.”

“The Shakespeare challenge…” Max’s eyes widened as she realized what Jaidynn had just said. 

“What about it?”

“You used my own encouragement against me!”

“Y-yeah.. I figured it’d help.”

“And it did.” Max curtsied and kissed the back of the hand Jaidynn was still holding before throwing herself into a hug. “It’s just... I- I’ll make sure you won’t forget me.”

“Do you promise?”

“I swear.” That was the last thing Max had said before the final lip sync. 

Like most go-rounds, the outcome was the same. Jaidynn had lived to see another week while Max was sent packing yet again. This time was different; she didn’t feel as defeated as she had previously been. She had said a speech, blown a kiss, then left the stage with as much dignity and grace as she had entered. 

It was melancholic seeing the looks that she wouldn’t be able to show the judges, but it wasn’t too bad. She’d probably see them the next day. That was the least of her troubles at that moment. The only thought occupying Max’s mind was Jaidynn. If this was her last tomorrow, how was she going to let her friend know she was safe and that she made it out with a little bit of sanity intact? Before she left the workroom yet again, Max tied the handkerchief that was paired with her final runway look to the end of the table where her friend’s stuff was. She took one hopefully final glance at the workroom and didn’t look back. All she could do was pray that she’d wake up with a phone the next day.

~~

The next time Max walked into the werk room, she wasn’t alone. 

She followed behind the eliminated queens. It was nice seeing everyone again. She apologized to Trixie for saying she’d win it for her, but her college friend laughed it off, saying it wasn’t that big of a deal. It was also quite lovely seeing Sasha and Kasha and Kandy again, as well as Tempest and Jasmine, but something felt missing.

Although she was ultimately paired up with Violet (something she was happy about), she still couldn’t get her mind off of Jaidynn. She was the only person she had trusted with probably the most valuable information of her life. Just seeing her had to have been enough evidence she was back. For all she knew, it could have been a couple more loops since she returned from Jaidynn’s perspective. Memory was a funny thing. For now, she just had to pretend as if her first yesterday was the only time the elimination had happened. There was a possibility of returning to the competition tonight.

“I think you might have forgot this.” Max put part of her corset down and looked up at a familiar face. There Jaidynn was with the little black shawl in her hand. She maintained herself the best that she could, but it didn’t last much longer. The tall queen hugged Jaidynn as hard as she could.

“Thank you…” Max whispered as a few tears started to form. “Thank you, darling, for everything.”


End file.
